How am I still alive? Recovering anorexia and bulimia.?

happy chick Asked: How am I still alive? Recovering anorexia and bulimia.?

Its the hardest journey ever, and the last three days have been horrific. I've lost 4 pounds, most likely water weight; yet I've been throwing up over 100 times a day the past three days. The past three days I've ate…
4 and half boxes of cereal (2 x coco pops, bran flakes, frosted shreddies, special K)
A lot of sugar (about 10 tbsp)
3 bottles of soya milk (light and organic)
4 slices of toast with 1/4 a bottle of honey
10 doughnuts
Large bar of Dairy Milk chocolate
Large bar of caramel Galaxy chocolate
Vegetable soup with 2 packets of white rice and BBQ sauce
Noodles with bacon and ranch dressing
Large pizza with BBQ sauce
2 slices of fried bread with two fried eggs and ketchup
Scrambled eggs on two pieces of toast
2 chocolate cupcakes
Rich tea biscuits with a jar of chocolate spread
Big Mac and fries from McDonalds with sweet and sour sauce
2 pints of caramel ice cream with maple syrup
Galaxy caramel bites
Packet of large chocolate buttons
2 packets of mini chocolate eggs
Caramel Dairy milk chocolate nibbles
1 Kit Kat peanut butter bar
3 biscuits
1 wafer
10 mini slices of French toast with ketchup and BBQ sauce
2 slices of bread with butter and strawberry jam
an apple pie with custard
More custard with strawberry jam and cinnamon
2 packets of oats with 4tbsp of sugar
2 packets of Wotsits
2 chocolate melted brownies with thick cream
1 triple chocolate brownie from McDonalds
Yogurt with honey and toast
8 waffles with a lot of golden syrup
16 sausages with a lot of ketchup + BBQ sauce
Micro beef burger + micro chicken burger with mustard and ketchup
6 roast potatoes with turkey and BBQ sauce
4 white chocolate cookies
1 cinnamon roll with maple syrup
BBQ, chicken and coleslaw sandwich
6 mini chocolate rolls with thick cream
4 tbsp of peanut butter
An Easter egg
2 packets of minstrels
4 slices of turkey bacon
Bag of toffee popcorn
It's amazing that this even managed to happen. I don't know how, and yes, I know it's shocking, dangerous, stupid, shameful, and pathetic. I just need to know how to stop. + HOW AM I ALIVE? I swear, last night I was sure I was going to die :'(